and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
