That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
