the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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