Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
