Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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