There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
