last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
