We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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