I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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