just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
