you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize