he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
