I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
