last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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