I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
