he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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