i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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