OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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