Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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