I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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