Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
