so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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