I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize