why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
