that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
