Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize