she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
