you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
