booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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