areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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