hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
