I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
