oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
