i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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