i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
