he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
