Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
