Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
