At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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