eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
