I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am naked and annoyed.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
