At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
