he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
