what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there was a trapeze. enough said
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
