as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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