wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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