happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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