I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
