need another drink. this is the easiest way
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
