I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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