God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
