Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We left the knife in your bed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
