Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
