dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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