At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
