No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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