the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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