it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
