I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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