Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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