dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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