it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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