just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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