like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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